And How I’ve Been an Inconsiderate Ass
I leave my crap all over the place at the barn.
My grooming tote gets left by the round pen. I leave my trail saddle on the arena fence, and my dressage saddle on the stall door next to my tack locker. My halter and lead ends up hanging on any of a dozen random fence posts. My crop gets dropped on the ground in the arena, my water bottle abandoned on the mounting block, my sweatshirt flung on another random fence post. I have left my sunglasses next to the sink in the kitchen area, and my bucket and sponge next to the hose.
At one time or another, all of these items have been misplaced, by me, and would likely be lost forever except for some unkown fairy godperson picking them up and putting them someplace safe. My mother used to tell me I would lose my head if it wasn’t screwed on tight.
While on the surface it would seem that leaving my stuff around isn’t that big a deal, I recently left my saddle outside and then went on vacation for ten days - someone kindly brought it inside so it wouldn’t get rained on. Hanging my tack all over the round pen, or on the only bench next to the arena and then wandering off somewhere is just being slovenly and hogging resources that are meant to be shared.
Forgetting my crap in places that other people also need to use is selfish and inconsiderate. In order to change, I will have to replace my absentmindedness with its opposite mode: mindfulness. Pay attention, be here now, wake the fuck up, there are other people here, be nicer to them.
A friend once told me (not as a compliment) that I live “in my own little world.” My reply was, “Well yeah, I like it there.” For example, I can spend hours and hours editing photographs. It is a completely engrossing state of being; start with a photo, then go here, there and everywhere with no real plan and no sense of time other than ending up in the right place with that photo, because I will know it when I see it.
This is intuitiveness immersion, and it’s vital to the creative process for those of us who work alone.
“Don't let a mad world tell you that success is anything other than a successful present moment.” Eckhart Tolle
But I do understand that the people in my life deserve my attention and it is not either loving or mindful to tune them out by staying out of touch in my own little world when I am on a planet shared with others. I am allowed my self-nurturing periods of absentmindedness to just wander here and there, picking stuff up and putting it down again, but other times, I just need to not be a dick.
Interior of an old boarding stable
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